


It Was All He Had Left

by jasmineisland



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 06:00:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1255507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasmineisland/pseuds/jasmineisland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda to Captives<br/>Dean has had it with the silent treatment from his brother. It's time they clear the air.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Was All He Had Left

By request- meaning I opened my big mouth and got pounced on, LOL A coda to 9.14 Captives

The sound of the door slamming was the last straw. Fed up with his little brother’s bullshit, Dean stormed down the hall and nearly ripped the knob off of the door when he opened it. 

“What the hell?” Sam turned from where he’d obviously been pacing to stare at his brother. 

“This isn’t working.” 

“Dean, I-“

“We both got taken down by fucking stunt demon number 3, Sam. We’re so far off our game we fell off the fucking board.” 

“What do you want-“ 

“We not partners, Sam.” Gripping the flannel shirt, he used it to shove his brother against the wall. “We’re brothers.” He leaned closer. “We’re a hell of a lot more than brothers.” 

“You think this will fix things, Dean?” Sam’s voice rose as he tried to break the hold and move away. 

“I think it’s time you stop being a dick and fucking face me.” 

“A dick? I’m being a dick?” His thoughts were flying through his mind so fast he could barely keep up. Jerking his arm free, he stepped away from his brother. “Crowley, Dean. I ended up possessed by fucking Crowley! After Gadreel-“

“Crowley saved your ass, Sam. I thought Gadreel was-“

“Ezekiel. I know. But after Meg, after fucking LUCIFER did you really believe I’d be okay with something else driving around in my body?” Both hands went to his hair and pulled as he tried to make his brother understand. 

Recognizing the gesture for what it was, Sam at the end of his rope, Dean put himself between the taller man and the door so he couldn’t run. “I believed I didn’t want you dead.” 

“And that fact that it was what I wanted didn’t matter! THAT’S the problem, Dean.” 

“I get it, I really do. But, Jesus Christ, Sam, how many times have you been willing to die? You deserve better.” 

“Just what do I deserve? Tell me, because the only thing that has ever come out of you saving my life is other people dying! How do you think I felt having to tell Mrs. Tran that her son died because of me?” 

“It wasn’t because of you- that’s on me. I admit it.” 

Sam knew his brother felt the guilt over that. He knew Dean was tearing himself up over Kevin’s death. But what the older man didn’t get was that he was, too. “So we’re both to blame, is that it? I fucked up, you jumped in, and Kevin paid the price.” 

The confusion on Dean’s face was almost comical. “You fucked up? How do you get that?” 

“Last time I checked the gates to Hell were still  open.” 

“And you were gonna die anyway! In what fucking universe would you ever think I would go for that?” 

“And I’m here. You gave me another chance to fuck up something else.”

As Sam moved past him towards the door, Dean snapped. Gripping his brother’s arm, he shoved the taller man into the wall face first and stepped into his back. “I’m a possessive son of a bitch, Sam. I’m not letting go, and  you should damn well know that by now.” 

“Let go of me.” A tidal wave of emotions ran through him, and his body began to tremble. He was angry, he was guilty, he was so through with everyone and everything he just wanted to crawl under his bed and never come out. And when his brother shoved his right arm up behind his back to hold him he suddenly realized his own dick was joining the rest of the world and turning on him. The feel of Dean’s form holding him against a wall brought back so many sense memories his body reacted the way it always had. And he couldn’t control it. 

“Fuck!” More pissed off at himself, or rather his body, he increased his struggles to get away from Dean. 

“Best idea you’ve had in a while, Sammy.” Grinning into the taller man’s shoulder, Dean twisted them towards the bed. 

Halfway across the room his breath came out in a rush from the elbow that solidly connected to his sternum. Knowing that Sam was halfway to the door, the older Winchester forced himself to move. He caught his brother at the waist and took them both down. 

“God dammit, let me go!” Sam struggled to get out from under Dean, but all he managed to do was give the shorter man some leverage to flip him over. 

“Let you go? Let you go where, Sammy? How far do you think I’m going to let you run this time? Flagstaff? California?” Hands wrapped in that long hair and he tugged harshly. “I can’t believe you’re actually pissed I didn’t let you throw yourself into fucking hell AGAIN!” Forcing his brother to actually look at him, he ground his ass into the already hard dick beneath him. “Get it through that so smart but so fucking stupid brain that you are mine.” 

Dean expected a lot of things. He expected Sam to deny it. He expected Sam to struggle against him. The last thing he really expected was for that right arm to come up so that a huge fist could crash into his face. Stunned, the older Winchester fell off and rubbed his jaw. It was the first time Sam had ever, unless under some supernatural influence, taking a real shot, intending to hurt. 

Under normal circumstances, well, Winchester version of normal, Dean’s declaration of ownership would send Sam’s jeans to the floor and his naked ass in the air as a challenge for Dean to take what was his. But these weren’t normal circumstances. Moving to his knees, Sam turned to him. “I was. But you….. after everything….. you……” He shook his head as he stood. “You don’t even GET what you’ve done. Dean. That’s the problem.” 

Before he could get to the door, he heard his brother’s voice. 

“Don’t go out that door.” 

There was no possible way for Sam to even begin to control his anger. “Or what? Don’t come back? Is that what you were about to say? If you walk out that door don’t come back? I’ve heard that one, Dean. Too many fucking times I’ve heard that one.” Now he approached his brother. “THAT’S what it means to be a Winchester, Dean. Fall in line, get over it, do as you’re forced- even if they cram a fucking angel AND a demon down your throat. Or get the fuck out and don’t come back.” 

“I didn’t say that!” 

“Yeah, THIS TIME!” 

“I fucked up! I know it! I shouldn’t have tricked you, I should have told you the truth. What else do you want me to say?” Knowing it was probably a mistake, Dean moved closer. The only thing he could think of was to stop Sam from leaving the room. He got the feeling they may as well just move to opposite ends of the bunker and never see each other again if he let his little brother leave the room right then. 

“I want you to say, for once in your life, that you made a mistake and admit to it!” 

“You son of a bitch!” Now the older Winchester had enough. He knew he made mistakes, he knew he’d fucked up with Sammy. But how many more ways did the little bastard want him to say it. “I have admitted it! I’ve explained over and over but that’s not enough for you. You want me to crawl for your forgiveness? Well fuck you!” 

The fist crossed his face so fast Sam almost went to the ground. It was like the tension had reached a breaking point. Things happened so fast that neither Winchester would be able to put it all together later. Rushing Dean, Sam bodyslammed him into the wall. Before he even recovered his breath, the older Winchester slammed his elbows down into Sam’s back and used his knee to send him sprawling. For a brief second he almost left the room himself, but it only took that second for Sam to get back to his feet. And he was pissed. 

Well, two can play that game. They met almost in the middle, both throwing punches and trying to put the other down. A sharp pain with a soft sound told Sam one of his ribs just cracked. He thought it served Dean right that one of his fingers was dislocated when he backed away to catch his breath. Only his older brother didn’t give him the chance. As Dean tried to grab him, he side stepped, leaving the reaching hand holding only his shirt. But ‘give up’ wasn’t in the Winchester vocabulary, and the sound of the shirt ripping seemed to reignite Sam’s anger. Throwing the shredded material to the ground, he reached up and blocked a punch aimed at his face. He used his weight to counterbalance and sent Dean crashing to the bed. Only Dean got a hold of his arm and he ended up having his own height used against him when he lost his center of balance and fell beside him. 

Before he could even get his bearings, he was slammed face first into the mattress. Just like when they were kids, his brother fucking SAT ON HIM and leaned down to whisper in his ear. “Worked up a sweat on that one, little brother.” 

A very hard dick ground agaisnt his ass. Okay, not like when they were kids. And, god dammit if his own dick turned traitor again. It was going to go that way. Sam didn’t even bother lying to himself. But he wasn’t going to give it up that easily. Tapping the bed, he expected Dean to back off. 

“Nope. Not this time. Not giving you the chance to sucker punch me again.” A soft sound of moving fabric preceeded seeing Dean’s shirt hit the ground out of the corner of his eye. “Kind of like you right where you are, Sammy.” 

When he heard the zipper on his brother’s jeans, Sam moved. He didn’t get far before a large arm wrapped itself around his neck. “Not getting away this time.” 

Sam really didn’t believe his brother would choke him out if he tried to move, but just the thought had his body jerking and his dick (traitor) leaking into his boxers. Even if he wasn’t still pissed, there was no way Sam would ever examine that one. Damn near coming in his pants at the thought of being choked out wasn’t something he’d never wanted to discover about himself. And that lack of control just made things worse. When one very dextrous hand unsnapped his jeans, Sam made his move. He started to jerk his head back, but at the last minute he realized he just wanted to get away, not shatter his brother’s nose. It was enough of a movement to make the other man back up a bit, so instead he twisted so he could grip the arm holding his neck and yank Dean around to sprawl flat on his back. 

“Nice one.” 

That smile was just too fucking taunting and Sam realized if he had to keep looking at it he might reconsider shattering the nose attached to it. With one hand, he yanked Dean’s pants down, and with the other he gripped the older man to flip him over. 

Dean had a split second to once again realize how fucking big his brother was before he literally flipped onto his stomach through no effort of his own. A knee in his lower back made him grunt. 

“You wanna go this way? Fine. But tonight you’re mine, asshole.” 

When Sam’s knee shifted to take off his own pants, Dean tried to get up. He got about 4 inches off the mattress before a huge hand slammed down between his shoulderblades and pinned him. Even as he began to struggle, he felt Sam’s now bare knee pushing his legs apart. 

“Son of a bitch.” He didn’t know if he meant it that Sam was a son of a bitch, or son of a bitch he was about to come, but it didn’t matter. Two slick fingers shoved their way inside him.   
It had been a very long time, and Dean was fighting his own instincts to tense up at the intrusion. Even while he found excuses to not do this while Gadreel was taking up residence in Sam’s meatsuit, he’d imagined their first time back together, and it wasn’t like this. But he could work with it. Rolling his dick agaisnt the sheets, he pushed back into Sam’s hand. “All ya got?” 

A sharp jab to his protrate made him curse. 

“You forget how big my dick is? Gonna fuck you into the mattress, not send you to ER, dumbass.”  
“Ego much?” A third finger entered him a little too soon, but he’d never admit it. Biting back a groan of pain, he spread his thighs a bit more and lifted his hips. “You should-“ he tried to cut off the “oh shit, yeah.” But Sam heard it and smirked. He knew every button his brother had, but the last thing he wanted to do was wait long enough to give him that kind of satisfaction. This was going to be hard and fast. 

The second he was sure Dean was open enough to not bleed out from being fucked open, Sam lined himself up and drove his cock into his brother. 

“Fuck.” A hand slammed down on the mattress and Dean took a deep breath to relax his muscles. Okay, yeah, his brother possessed one big ass fucking dick, but he wasn’t about to give the rat bastard that stroke to his ego just now. His voice was a bit strained, but he huffed. “Thought you were gonna fuck me into the mattress.” 

Sam took that as a challenge and rose to it. Wrapping one arm around Dean’s chest, he pulled almost all the way out before literally slamming himself into the prone body beneath him. His breath came out in pants and he yanked Dean’s body back into him as he pushed forward to dig harder and deeper. It wasn’t enough. Sam shifted his knees and reared up to grip his brother’s hips in a grip that would leave deep dark bruises. That gave him the leverage he needed his now aching cock literally impaled the other man. 

It didn’t take Dean long to figure out the only thing he could do was ride it out. The sharp burn intensified everytime his brother thrust into him, but he managed to stay pretty pissed off. 

“Enough control for you, now, smart ass?” Even as he knew he was hitting Sam way below the belt, so to speak, he couldn’t help it. 

Just as Sam was starting to lose his anger in the heat of his brother’s body, the arrogant fucker had to start his shit again. “Do..” Thrust. “You ever.” Again. “Shut up?” 

Even as his prostrate got nailed again, Dean felt that Sasquatch-sized hand clamp down over his mouth and partially over his nose so he could barely breathe. For a moment, he panicked and struggled against the large body that was now leaning on him. 

Muscles clamped down and the his brother writhing on his dick was all it took. As he felt his body start to tense he took the hand that was on Dean’s hip and reached around to his cock. A sharp pull and twist move that Sam knew would get the job done had the back under his chest arching. 

The older Winchester was too busy with his own orgasm to feel his brother’s come flood inside his body. Finally the hand fell away and all he could do was take a deep breath before he collapsed onto the bed. He hissed a bit when Sam pulled out roughly before falling next to him. After a few more deep breaths, he elbowed the younger man roughly. “Next time you get the idea to suffocate me I’ll break that fucking hand.” 

Silence answered him. Dean was contemplating the fact that his brother still wasn’t speaking to him and just about to get up when he heard a soft, broken voice. 

“My mind, Dean.” 

Confused, he turned to Sam and waited for more. 

“My body has been used by demons, angels, and the devil himself. I have spent almost my entire life having my body used against me. I was fed demon blood and given powers that controlled me a hell of a lot more than I controlled them. I’ve killed people. I’ve beaten people to within an inch of their lives. I’ve been tortured, raped, used by two archangels in a game of who could be more creative in hell. I’ve almost died from hallucinations. But my mind. My mind was always my own. The one thing NONE of those bastards could touch. Death put up a wall, and it felt worse than anything any of them had done to or with my body, because my mind was all I had left that was mine. I told you when you had Cas wipe Lisa and Ben how bad it was-“ Dean’s body tensed and Sam glared at him, letting him know silently that if he followed through on his threat to break his brother’s nose for mentioning them it would never be forgiven. 

When he was convinced Dean wasn’t going to hit him, Sam continued. “So you decided to do it again. To me. Knowing exactly how I felt about it. I remember the conversation. Now. I remember everything. You knew he was taking pieces from my mind and you lied to me so I wouldn’t find out.” His voice broke and he stopped. Slowly, he stood and grabbed his clothes before turning back to Dean before he went to take a shower. 

“That’s what I want you to understand, Dean. My body has been up for grabs to anything that wanted to grab it since before I was born. I gave you my heart a long time ago. My mind was all I had left, and now you’ve taken that from me again. And from where I’m standing it feels like you just don’t care what that does to me.” 

He turned quickly, but Dean knew his brother was crying. “Sammy?” 

The younger man didn’t turn back, but he stopped. “Yeah?” 

“If I’d told you – back when you were about to take Death’s hand and leave-“ 

Sam shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. But you didn’t believe in me enough to give me the choice.” 

Silently, he listened to the footsteps that ended just before the water turned on down the hall. Swiping his hand down his own face, he wasn’t surprised to realize he was crying as well. Sam was right. Dean hadn’t gotten it. He’d allowed Death, and now a fucking angel to play inside his brother’s head- all in the name of keeping him. He’d allowed them to tear into the only thing his brother had ever been able to manage to hold onto. His throat tightened and he whispered, wishing his brother could hear, but knowing he couldn’t. “I should have just gone with you, Sammy.” 


End file.
